The RETURN of Little Purple Riding Trunks
by Vegeta-shun
Summary: Duuuuude... SEQUEL! Seven years later and most everyone on Earth has been turned in gorillas - Except for the hero/heroine, Trunks, and his side-kick, Goten! Hahahaha. R&R puh-lease!
1. Yes This Really Is The SEQUEL

The RETURN of Little Purple Riding Trunks 

A/N:  Whoa… I didn't realize people were actually waiting for this.  No reviews make me think that no one is reading.  But I am so very sorry, readers.  Gomen nasai.  Really.  In my defense, however, I was trying to graduate from college.

Also, in the little "free" time that I had, I wrote a couple chapters for a serious fic… It probably sucks, but I like it.

ON WITH IT!!!!

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Part One:  Yes This Really is The SEQUEL   
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"Once upon a time there lived in a certain village a little country girl by the name of Trunks, the prettiest creature who was ever seen. Trunks' mother was excessively fond of her; and Trunks' grandmother doted on her still more. This good woman had a little purple riding hood made for her. It suited Trunks so extremely well that everybody called her Little Purple Riding Trunks…"

-- paraphrased from Charles Perrault's "Little Red Riding Hood"

In a forest far, far away in a time not to distant from when everyone was turned into gorillas, two young children frolicked through the tall evergreen trees.  For some strange reason, they had been spared from the cruel spell that had transformed the rest of the world into primates.  But that's just as well, because who wants to read a story about gorillas anyway?

The children danced and they sang happy songs, as naive children often do.  But these weren't two ordinary children.  After all, this isn't an ordinary story.  Well… they weren't really children either.  At the time of the last story they were, but this is a SEQUEL… so time has passed.  Seven years, exactly.

Kinda like one year was equal to every week I didn't post.  HAHAHA………

Ok, so two 19-year old teenagers were _gallivanting_ through the forest.  But, being lazy boys, they found a nice sunny spot and lay down in the short grass.  This would be of little interest, except that one of them decided to speak.

"I'm glad you didn't die seven years ago," said the one with black eyes and hair.  

His companion's head angled away from the sun.  Bright blue eyes were seeking the gaze of his friend, the one who had spoke.  But the dark eyes never came away from the sky.  The sun was brilliant and shone through an uninhibited sky.

Slightly disappointed, blue-eyes said, "Well _I'M_ glad you stopped making me wear dresses.  The rumors at school about you and me were pretty scandalous."

Finally, the dark-eyed boy propped himself up on an elbow and looked at his friend.  "Trunks, it's not considered a rumor if it's true!"  He laughed. "And speaking of school, do you realize we haven't been to school in seven years?"

"Has it really been that long, Goten?" asked Trunks.  

The boy nodded.  "Without the distractions of school, we've had plenty of time to concentrate on training.  It's amazing how much stronger we are now."

"That's true…" the purple-haired youth trailed off, losing himself to wandering thoughts.  He sat up and looked at his strong arms.  He made fists with his hands and bemusedly watched the muscles tighten and shift beneath his skin.  Trunks looked at Goten and wondered if his friend's arms were perfectly shaped like his.  

"You know," said Trunks, "maybe we should try to figure out why everyone on Earth turned into gorillas."

"How do you propose we do that?  It's not like there's anyone around to ask."

"I don't know."  Trunks was just happy to get his brain away from thoughts about Goten's body.  "I was hoping you'd think of something."

"Your mom's the genius.  Shouldn't you be smart, too?"

"Nah, I'm more like my Dad," he laughed. "Really stupid."

"Hey, me too!"

"That's totally radical," said an overenthusiastic Trunks.

"Woo hoo!  Let's celebrate this revelation by smashing our heads against giant boulders!"

"Awesome!  Last one to Boulder Mountain cooks dinner tonight!"  And Trunks sped away to an early head start.  Goten took off after him, quickly catching up.  The teens twirled in the air, giggling and partaking in other pre-adult shenanigan behavior.

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A/N:  So how am I going to write myself out of this plot-knot?  Uhhhh… I don't know, but I think "plot-knot" is a pretty cool word.  Tee hee hee  ^___^


	2. Rocks In The Head

The RETURN of Little Purple Riding Trunks 

A/N:  I haven't been in a particularly funny mood lately, so I've been hard-up for writing humorously.  It's also been difficult to write something different than the dozens of other humor/humor chapters I have for various other stories.

BUT… you folks don't wanna hear about these problems ^__^  So… here's my latest attempt.  Thanks to Lizz for suggesting the return of Goku the guard.  I'll take other suggestions too; it's always more interesting that way ^__^

ON WITH IT!!!!

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Part Two:  Rocks In The Head  
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Goten and Trunks reached Boulder Mountain and gave celebratorious shouts of celebration.  It was a celebration, indeed.  The boys had decided that when they were finished smashing their faces against boulders, they would figure out what the hell happened to all the people on Earth.

Trunks was the first to land on top of the lump of raised relief, also known as a mountain.  He picked up the largest boulder in sight and raised it over his head.  He yelled,  "Hey Goten!  Beat this one!"

And Trunks dropped the boulder so that it fell on his head.  Of course, being Saiyajin (well, demi-saiyan), his head was harder than any rock… unless the rock were made of Unobtanium ("Copyright of the morons who made 'The Core.'  Don't go see it, ever.  Unless you want to see a hilarious joke about what moviemakers _think_ of geology.").

Where was I? Oh right…  The rock that was larger than Trunks' body.  He made powder of that rock.  Needless to say, he was temporarily stunned.  But soon, Trunks was laughing hysterically and standing with his triumphant hands on his hips, daring Goten to find a larger boulder.

And whaddya know, the raven-haired boy did find a larger rock.  And in the same manner as his friend, Goten smashed the rock on his head, stunned himself, then fell over in laughter.

In retaliation, Trunks picked up an even larger rock and threw it into the air.  He launched himself after it, flying high into the sky.  When he was in reach of the projectile, Trunks arched his back then flung himself forward with great force.  His face smashed into the rock and it shattered to pieces.  He yelled, "SUCCESS!"  And sounded rather silly, though it wasn't the first time, nor would it be the last.

Trunks watched from the air as Goten did the same.  Feeling inadequate against his friend who performed those feats with amazing ease and grace that Trunks did not have, he challenged Goten to a duel.  They would both take rocks, and on the count of ONE, hurl the rocks at each other.  Last one standing would win.

Except, Trunks never told Goten that they were going to duel.

Instead, Trunks just picked up the largest boulder on the mountain, and when Goten's back was turned, chucked it at his friend's head.

Of course, Trunks was the winner.

And Goten didn't stand up for a long time.

It was three hours, in fact.  A few times during this period, just to be considerate, Trunks poked Goten with a stick.  Or maybe that's being inconsiderate.  Speaking of inconsiderate, during the three hours, Trunks decided it would be fun to dress Goten up like a hooker.  So of course, he flew to his house and grabbed some of his mom's clothes.

_Perfect, _Trunks thought, admiring his fashion-attack on Goten.  But something was missing from the ensemble…  _Oh of course!  How could I be so stupid,_ Trunks pounded himself on the head ("Like he needed anymore of that").  _Accessories and make-up!!_  Trunks flew BACK to Capsule Corporation again, screaming things in the air, such as, "Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!" and "Bippidy–zippidee-whoopidy-woozers!"

Yeah, you know, things that SANE people might scream as they're flying through the air.  Okay, so Trunks got the rest of the crap he wanted from various stores in West City.  Technically this was stealing, but c'mon, were the gorillas going to arrest him?  Right…

So Trunks finished playing dress-up with Goten.  ("I'll not go into the details of his attire right now, but…") Trunks was so pleased with the end result that he passed out on the ground from laughing so hard.  Not only did he pass out on the ground, but he fell right on top of Goten.

After that, it was quiet and calm.  For awhile.  Then you could hear footsteps ("…Well you could if you were there, but you're not, so you'll just have to believe me.").  From over the crest of the mountain, a lumbering figure walked toward the two collapsed boys.  Because there were no other humans on the earth (and assuming it wasn't some other living organism), it would be safe to assume that the figure was a gorilla.  And it was.  Amazing.

Even better, this gorilla was wearing the uniform of a castle guard.  And his stomach growled.  Well duh, it was Goku the gorilla.  And he saw the boys lying on top of each other.  Well, actually, Goku-gorilla only saw one boy.  The other one was wearing a skanky dress and make-up, so he could only assume it was girl.  A skanky girl.

A lavender-haired boy lying on top of a scantily clad girl.  ("Ohhhhh, I wish t'were me…  Oops, sorry" ^_____^)  Anyway, Goku-gorilla had nothing better to do, so he sat next to the apparent lovers ("Ew!") and picked bugs out of their hair.  

Okay, he didn't find any bugs, because they have good hygiene, but it didn't stop him from looking… for three hours… until the next chapter is posted.  ^__^

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A/N:  Moral of the story – Stealing is okay ONLY if your world has been taken over by gorillas.  And it doesn't count if the gorillas only exist in your head.

Author: Hmmm, Gorillaz…  I ain't happy, I'm feeling sad / I got sunshine in a bag / I'm useless aaaaaaaaAAAAAHAHHHHHHH, No please don't arrest me! I didn't mean to steal the lyrics!  It's not my fault that song is so damn catchy!

Lawyers:  Too bad!  We caught you, now off to jail you go!

Author:  Don't I get a trial and stuff?

Lawyers:  Uhm no.  That takes too long.

Author: Then shouldn't the _police_ be bringing me to jail?

Lawyers: Oh yeah…

Police:  Awl righty now, off tah jail wid ye.

Author:  What the HELL kind of accent is that?!

Police:  Shut up.

Author: No really, I have no idea what that is.  Where the fuck are you from, Medieval England?!  Or is it the deep south in America?  I can't tell.

Police:  Y'all bettah shut up now, before I–

Author:  Before you what?  Are you going to arrest me twice?!

Police:  Nope.

WHACK!  Author is knocked out cold.

Lawyers:  We got dibs when the Author wakes up and sues your ass!

Police:  D'oh!

A/N:  Tune in next time, when the Author is in jail and files a law suit against the Police.

Oh yeah, some stuff happens with Trunks and Goten, too.  Think: Amnesia!


	3. No I Didn't Die

The RETURN of Little Purple Riding Trunks

A/N: I owe you so many apologies that I'm not even going to bother. I just hope that I'm back to for good. The story continues where it left off, but first… What follows directly below is a short, humorous (fictional) explanation of my absence. It comes after the Author/Lawyer quarrel at the end of chapter 2, so re-read that if you need to. I'll wait…

…………

………

……

Ok, done? Good. Read on.

Author: Hey all. I just got back from my long and grueling trial. It's been awhile, I know. But that's what happens when you use someone else's material without permission. Like the other time, when I stole…

Author's Lawyer: I'm going advise you against incriminating yourself.

Author: Good call, Lawyer! (to readers) This is my lawyer. I hired him so I don't get thrown in jail again.

Author's Lawyer: Actually, I advise you to speak as little as possible, because nothing you say is ever intelligible.

Author: Ooooh, fancy parschmancy lawyer dribbildy gook.

Author's Lawyer: I rest my case.

Author: And I rest mine!! sets down briefcase

Author's Lawyer: Where did you get that Prada briefcase?! Author starts to answer; Police appear out of nowhere and turn on tape recorders On second thought, Author, don't answer that. Just tell your nonsensical story.

Author: Yes sir! I can do that without trouble! And without getting _into_ trouble! Not like yesterday, when I bought this briefcase from some man selling stolen stuff from his van in the dark alley outside my apartment.

Lawyer's: Ah-ha! Arrest the Author! the Police simultaneously pounce on the Author Buying stolen property! Guilty!

Author's Lawyer: Damn you, you stupid Author!

Author: Ok, readers, while I go with these nice Police Officers, you can read the long awaited next chapter to this story.

ON WITH IT!!!!

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Part Three: No, I Didn't Die

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Goten woke up three hours after Trunks crushed him on the back of the head with a giant rock. To his horror, he woke up with Trunks lying on top of him. To his even greater horror, he was dressed in women's clothing AND Trunks was lying on him. Just as he was about to scream bloody murder and beat the living soul out of his so-called friend, Goten noticed a large gorilla in odd-looking people clothes picking through his lovely black hair.

He swatted the gorilla's hands away, to which the gorilla reacted strangely, wildly waving his arms and pointing at his stomach, moaning in agony.

Goten knew this behavior, for he too was feeling the pangs of hunger. It must have been almost 3 hours since he had eaten. That was like 3 days for a Saiyan, or even a demi-Saiyan.

The boy smacked Trunks in the head. Really hard. Really really hard. Trunks didn't move. So Goten delightedly pounded him on the head again. Repeatedly. As if knocking on a thick steel door. Trunks still didn't move.

Uh-oh, he thought. I hope I didn't kill him. That would take away all the fun I'd have torturing him to death for throwing a rock at my head and dressing me in his mom's clothes while I was passed out.

Goten stood up and lightly kicked Trunks in the stomach. The lavender haired boy groaned in his state of unconsciousness.

At least he's not dead, sighed Goten with relief. He then picked up Trunks to bring him to Capsule Corporation, where he would raid the fridge and return Bulma's clothes – not necessarily in that order.

As he rose into the air with his friend under one arm, he was amazed to see the gorilla also flying next to him. Since when can monkeys fly? he wondered. Then he second-guessed himself. It _has_ been awhile since I've been in school. Maybe I should have spent more time reading books rather than training. Oh well.

"Follow me, flying monkey!" he exclaimed. "We'll get us some grub, and then if Trunks isn't awake yet, I'll let you wake him up and take plenty of pictures as you do it."

And Goten began his flight to Capsule Corp, laughing an evil laugh as he flew.

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A/N: Sorry about not doing the amnesia thing (yet), but hopefully there will other good things next chapter. Including another character (who will it be? Another gorilla-senshi? Or someone new and different? Or maybe it's Cell! Or perhaps it's Puar!) . Nope, all wrong. It's Dr. Briefs. Oops, I ruined the suspense. Hee hee.


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